BE a Monkey 🐒

One day a young man was walking in the woods when he came upon an old woman planting a carob tree sapling. He knew that these trees took some 70 years to grow and bear fruit so he asked her why she was wasting her time planting one when surely she wouldn't live to benefit from it. Without even pausing what she was doing, she responded that her grandparents planted a carob tree and she enjoyed it's shade and fruits as a child so she was planting this one for her grandchildren.

I heard the story above on THIS episode of the Huberman Lab podcast recently and I thought it conveyed a lovely sentiment- doing something now that will benefit your grandchildren. You know that I love to share my insights and advice in the letters I write to my future grandchildren in BE Inspired and in many ways, those letters are my carob trees. Selfless acts that will someday bear fruit- figuratively or literally- for your family are always great things to do. The title of the podcast was 'Create your ideal future by using science based protocols' and this story hooked me.

The guest of the podcast was Ari Wallach- a futurist and social system strategist, and I found him super inspiring. He took the concept presented in the story above of doing something now that would benefit us or someone in the future and suggested we expand on it by broadening our view and doing some introspection. Before he took us down the path of how to do just that though, he shared some math. He explained that he had three children and, that if those three children all went on to have the average 2.2 children each...that in 250 years, he would have some 50,000 descendants. He then encouraged us to consider that larger pool of future family members when answering the following question:

What would you like the future to look like for your descendants?"

Ooh! I had never thought about anyone in my line further down than my grandchildren, but reflecting on the lives of my great-great-great+ grands was a super cool and somewhat sentimental experience. My immediate thought was that I would want them to have sort of a stereotypical 'good life'... a happy childhood, a good education, a good job, great relationships, and a healthy long life. I, of course, would also want them to inhabit a healthy earth and safe world. Based on what Ari said, I think I answered how most people did, but he then surprised me by saying that the question itself was flawed. He said, that the real question we should be asking ourselves was:

How would you like your descendants to FEEL?

And with that slight variation, the question really changed for me...it felt more personal and so much more significant. I took a bit longer to contemplate my answer this time as the gravity of choosing actual feelings for other human beings, especially my own descendants, felt very profound.

Eventually, I decided I wanted them to feel loved, confident, respected, safe, and happy. Looking back, I could've added so many other feelings to that list: hopeful, healthy, strong, grateful, curious, and empathetic- just to name a few. Then Ari asked:

"What do you think you could do NOW to assure that your descendants will FEEL that way?"

And, this one stumped me. I thought how can I possibly do something now that would help my grands+ feel a certain way in 250 years? I mean I get the concept of planting the carob tree or maybe writing a few letters in a blog, but 250 years is a long time from now! Of course, I did consider that if I could develop generational-level wealth then my descendants could at least be afforded a host of opportunities that might help them feel the way I hoped. But, as we all know money is simply not dependable. It can be fleeting, squandered, abused, and it can actually negatively impact the trajectory of ones life in some instances. So, what in the world could I do now to help my great-great-great+ grands? Ari, had the answer:

"The single most impactful thing you can do right now to positively affect how your future descendants FEEL is to model good behavior."

Please read that sentence one more time. More than money, education, success, or any other life accomplishment you can dream of, the research shows that simply being a good person will do the trick. Modeling good behaviors will alter the lives of generations to come and will give your descendants the greatest chance of actually feeling loved, confident, respected, safe, and happy.

WHOA! Isn't that an incredible piece of information? We have the power to impact the future and, specifically OUR future descendants, simply by behaving with dignity. You see, it turns out that

"Monkey see, Monkey do" is not just a fun phrase—it's life advice! Our actions are like a contagious yawn, spreading to our kids and basically everyone else around us. Sure there are other factors at play like our genes, but BEHAVIOR is the real MVP. Your kindness, your work ethic, your hobbies, and your habits all have a direct hand in shaping how your future family members will feel in the year 2274. Isn't that cool? It's definitely one of the most extraordinary, inspirational, and heartwarming things I've ever learned and I hope you agree.

So, starting today remember to focus on the important things...being compassionate, generous, patient, open-minded, and grateful. Seek out what makes you happy and adopt healthy habits. Work towards feeling your best both inside and out. Behave with dignity and grace because the greatest gift you can give your future descendants is to be your best self right now.

Personally, I envision each of my 50,000 little grand-monkeys to love reading and dancing; to have a strong moral compass; and to absolutely, positively, hate eggplant.

*Read more about the impact your behavior can have on your children and grandchildren here.

"Never underestimate the power of a kind word, a smile, or a simple act of kindness; good behavior can have a ripple effect that reaches far beyond what you might imagine." ~unknown